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Wednesday, May 1, 2019
It’s the quintessential ‘goin’-away’ party.
Is preparing for and so talking about the inevitable morbid?
It’s not.
Even if it’s death.
Peaceful little girl.
A good beginning for our preparation, avoid horror movies; avoid images of decayed bodies.
Our focus is not on the unknown, not on the post-life, but the time leading up to the going’ away.
So delete skulls and skeletons from desired images.
Focus on the innocent and the pure
Light candles; burn incense; read edifying books; listen to chamber music.
The motivation for a personal examination of death began near two years ago at a memorial service for Toni Lee Capossela to whom I had been happily married for twenty-five years and with whom had raised three pretty special boys.
My sons hosted the event and, at one point, son Mino and I stood side-by-side watching the hundred or so attendees walk about, talking, eating, drinking, remembering, honoring their great friend, the memorial proving a great opportunity for all in attendance to share communal feelings – ‘all in attendance’ the key phrase.
I pointed out to Mino the dichotomy of the joy that the coming together brought to everyone except for the person about whose memory the event rotated.
“Not for me.”
“What?”
“My preparation for death would be greatly impaired if I thought that I would miss out on such a lovely moment. I want this moment while I’m alive.”
He waited while I gathered my thoughts.
“Okay. Within the next several years, I’d like you to organize an immediate-family get together wherein we can all celebrate ourselves as a family. And I’m still functioning well enough to enjoy all the remembrances.”
Eighteen months later Mino emailed me.
That get-together was planned for the end of May on the West Coast, and all thirteen of us, myself, my children, and my grandchildren would be in attendance, except for my Grandson Dylan, he stuck in Oxford University without possibility of parole. Leaving twelve. Close enough.
After extracting a promise from him that my acceptance would not be an agreement that I pass soon after such an event, I allowed as this might be a great moment.
But thinking on it, I am going to add a codicil to the arrangement: this living-memorial event only good for five years.
If I’m still functioning at that point, the event must be renewed.
So I begin to follow these lead threads to a satisfying psychological and emotional preparation of death keeping in mind the end is simply put.
It’s the quintessential ‘goin’-away’ party.
Postings Count, Weather Brief, and Dinner
Wednesday, May 1, 2019
Many of the days following bring wet weather.
Let’s actively enjoy our time despite the weather.
If we don’t, the hours will tick away and another day will click past.
Unnoticed.
Unappreciated.
Tick Tock.
In clock language:
Enjoy today.
Enjoy the week.
Postings Count, Weather Brief, and Dinner
Wednesday, May 1, 2019
My 389th consecutive posting, committed to 5,000.
After 389 posts we’re at the 7.78% mark of my commitment, the commitment a different way of marking the passage of time.
Time is 12.01am.
On Wednesday, Boston’s temperature will reach a high of 52* with a feels-like of 52* with a chance of showers.
Dinner for tonight will be Hot Pot.
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Question of the Day:
What is Death?
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Wednesday, May 1, 2019
Love your notes.
Contact me at domcapossela@hotmail.com
This from my Sally C responding to the post on adult language:
Hi, Dom,
I might argue that there is a sixth possible function for the use of foul language, except that I don't consider it a function, so I guess it doesn't count as one, after all. (I think I've just argued myself out of my argument.)
The Roman orator Cicero speaks to the Roman Senate. Cicero Denounces Catiline (1889), fresco by Cesare Maccari
”And until I find out who put salt in the sugar bowl…”
Foul words, originally acquired with the intent to shock (or at best, impress) anyone within hearing, have so permeated the speaker's lexicon as to disintegrate any intended meaning of a sentence. "Like, that [blank]ing [blank] thought he was going to [blank] the [blank] out of my [blank] ing stuff and [blank]ing get away with it? No [blank]ing way!" Does anyone have a clue what the speaker is talking about? We only know that he or she is angry. And all that [blank]ing language is downright boring. And when one reverts to it exclusively, that's an indication to me that the speaker hasn't much of an argument and wants only to get our attention.
My oldest nephew was staying for a few days with my parents when he was seven or eight. He decided to try out such words as he'd picked up somewhere on his grandparents, and came out with some doozies while they ate supper. My parents didn't react at all. He tried them, with the same results, and again a third time. At that, my mother turned to my father and calmly said, "Do you know what he's talking about? Such curious language! I've never heard you ever say stuff like that. It's funny: His father doesn't talk like that. Neither does Aunt Sally. In fact, I've never heard Uncle Duffy, or Uncle Ben, or Uncle Dana talk like that. How strange!" They went on, eating, and didn't speak of it again. My nephew never spoke those words again in their presence. And I've never heard him use any such words since. He is now 49.
I heard it all while working at a shipyard. But since I wasn't infused with it as a child, I use very little such language, myself. The worst that emerges is "damn," with an occasional "shit," and they are usually at myself when I've blundered badly. Restricting oneself to a few shock words for expression is just plain too bland for my palate, when English is a veritable cornucopia of rich language.
Sally
Web Meister Responds: That’s nice, Sally. Thanks.
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Chuckle for Wednesday, May 1, 2019
Girl to fiancé: ‘When we’re married I want to share all your troubles and worries.’
”But I don’t have any troubles and worries.’
‘We’re not married yet.’
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Answer to the Question of the Day: Wednesday, May 1, 2019
What is Death?
Death is the permanent cessation of all biological functions that sustain a living organism.
Phenomena which commonly bring about death include aging, predation, malnutrition, disease, suicide, homicide, starvation, dehydration, and accidents or major trauma resulting in terminal injury.
For the subject, our aim is a peaceful death.
Death – particularly the death of humans – has commonly been considered a sad or unpleasant occasion, due to the affection for the being that has died and the termination of social and familial bonds with the deceased.
Other concerns include fear of death, necrophobia, anxiety, sorrow, grief, emotional pain, depression, sympathy, compassion, solitude, or saudade.
Many cultures and religions have the idea of an afterlife, and also hold the idea of reward or judgement and punishment for past sin.
__________________________________________Good Morning on this first day of Wednesday, May 1, 2019
We posted a thought preparing for death, the forerunner of several conversations on the subject.
We counted our postings, talked about the weather, and decided on Hot Pot for dinner.
Our question for the day asked about death.
We posted a letter from Sally C and a chuckle:
We ended with a brief discussion of death, choosing peaceful images for the post.
And now? Gotta go.
Che vuoi? Le pocketbook?
See you soon.
Your love.